Why The Bird Call Lost its Chirp

Those fuckers at Toshiba were to cheap to make a durable computer. Those devious little nerds used PLASTIC prongs to support the power jack; so one little movement and the fragile piece of shit breaks. This unfortunately happened to my Toshiba Satallite Laptop. Instead of shelling out $700 for a new computer. I decided to take matters into my own hands. Armed with a soldering iron and a new power jack, courtesy of Radioshack, I was able to fix my computer. So my computer was out of operation for the past few days because of this, but now I am back. The bird call chirps again caww cawww.

Pretty Good Christmas

I had a pretty good Christmas. The only aspects of it that I dislike was the awkward conversations I participated in with my family members. There is something about talking to a uncle or an aunt that you only see like twice a year that feels so... weird. I mean I literally have no clue what to say to them. I try to create small talk, but that just yields a hollow and ephemeral conversation. But that is what the extended family is about right? trying to interact with people you see sparingly.

The Top 5 Most Annoying things Girls Do When They are Drunk

Drinking with females is a very enjoyable endeavor. However, certain annoying habits emerge out of some girls when they are intoxicated. I am not accusing all girls of committing these obnoxious acts. Rather, I am examining the five most annoying behaviors that are exclusive to shitfaced girls. Furthermore, these actions also annoy girls themselves. Feminists need not to worry, I will be examining the five most annoying things boys do when they are sauced.

5. When girls ask if there face is getting red...constantly
Why do some girls ask this redundant question every time they drink? Like seriously, who cares if your face gets red; increased redness in complexion generally does not detract a female's looks immensely. I mean, you must be very insecure if you are asking if your face is getting red. One message to all girls who are guilty of this, it really does not matter, don't worry about it.

4. When they start randomly following and obsessing over a boy
This one sounds more creepy than it is annoying, but it is pretty obnoxious when a girl just obsesses over one boy when she is mangled. I have not encountered this behavior much, but field reports indicate that it is pretty annoying.

3. When nice girls turn mean
When some girls drink, they instantly become incredibly rude. This is so fucking annoying. Seriously, a little tequila does not give you the right to be a bitch.

2. When girls create drama
Girls can be dramatic people, but certain girls can be very dramatic when they are shattered. Nothing pisses me off more when girls start gossiping profusely when the vodka is poured. Like seriously, girls will literally purposely create drama when they are drunk, creating scenarios that are designed to ignite future gossip.

1. When girls cry about random
No matter how ridiculous the reason is, or if a reason really exists, it is pretty annoying when girls spontaneously start to cry when they are shitty. I do not understand it at all, and they will cry about the stupidest shit too, like a breakup with some loser boyfriend that occurred two years prior or how they are jealous of some girl's looks. Please ladies, when the shots have been administered, try to hold in the tears.

The Bird Call Stiff of the Week: Claude Julien

I admit, my knowledge about the NHL is limited; my expertise generally rests in the NFL and the NBA. However, I have started to follow the Bruins more. My increased devotion to B's have driven me to several conclusions about the composition of the team. The most important of which is that the Bruins Coach, Claude Julian, is a huge stiff. I have endured the past few games where the Bruins have looked apathetic, lethargic, and outright pitiful. They don't play with any balls. I feel like the source of these issues is coming from the coach. Mr. Julian does not seem passionate at all; he just looks like a huge stiff behind the bench. The B's are an incredibly talented team, yet this does not translate to the win column. Generally in sports(I know I am oversimplifying this), if a talented team is losing due to a lack of motivation and coordination, the blame should be rightfully placed on the coach, not the players. Therefore, Claude has to go because he is a huge stiff, and this stiffness has earned him the dubious honor of being The Stiff of the Week.

Are you Joking Steve Jobs?

I just downloaded one of those stupid Itunes updates that they release like every week and change like two things. After I went through the unnecessary process of restarting my computer to "apply" the update, I found out that some of the files that run the program got lost, forcing me to REINSTALL the broken program. What a load of bullshit, cmon Mr. Jobs. If you are going to make a pointless update, at least make it functional. If I lose all my songs because of the fact that your program sucks balls, I better be getting new Ipods and shit up the ass for the rest of my life. Jesus you nerd, fix this shit.

Did I Just See a Hitler Mustache on Michael Jordan's Face?

 So I was just watching the Colts-Steelers game and during one of the commercial breaks I witnessed one of the most disturbing things in my entire life. One of the advertisements featured in the break was the T-Shirt commercial that depicted Michael Jordan talking to some bro on an airplane. While the commercial moved on, I was not thinking about my future t-shirt buying habits; I was fixated on the patch of hair on MJ's face that eerily resembled the facial hair of an infamous 20th century dictator. Michael Jordan starred in a commercial on national TV rocking a HITLER MUSTACHE, the most despicable and embarrassing thing a man can grow on his face. Like MJ, are you serious? Were you looking in the mirror when you were shaving or was this intentional? I am thoroughly mindfucked, get your shit together Michael.

What a semester

So tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.-12:30 p.m. I have my last two finals (yes I am the unlucky fuck who has to stay until Saturday to finish two fucking finals). My parents are picking me up at around one. As I leave the campus of the University of New Hampshire, I will be ending the first chapter of the story that is my life at UNH. I must say that this was a satisfying and eventful chapter in my life, a good start to fun and eventful college career. But before I head into the future, lets look at some of the most memorable (and not so memorable) moments at UNH.

Best Night: The Night We Raged at Alpha Sig
Nothing goes according to plan, except for this fucking crazy night. This girl got me and a bunch of my bros into a-sig with about a 5-1 bro to broad ratio. I do not remember the rest, but all I can say is that my dream of going to a Rec Dance shitfaced has been fulfilled.

Worst Night: The Infamous Night of the Zenka
(A handle of Zenka+Me+Steve Bosse+Richie)xOne hour=blacking out at 10

Most Hilarious Moment
When Steve made the bounce shot off the ceiling/whenever Zack says ew

I'm going to miss Hetzel and UNH and for next  few weeks, so peace out bros.